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Thursday, June 21, 2012

I recently went to Hume Lake with our church's youth group.  It was amazing.  God did so many great things in many kids' lives and mine.  He taught me to trust in Him and to be satisfied with all that He gives me, or doesn't for that matter.  He brought kids to repentance and to Him.  He saved many lives and touched the hearts of many young souls.  We bonded and built closer relationships with the kids.  We laughed, we cried, and grew closer to God.  I witnessed young and sensitive hearts turn to Jesus and raise their hands in worship.  If even for just a week, the kids could experience Jesus as He is, loving, forgiving, gentle, compassionate, understanding, strong, wise, amazing, wonderful, peaceful, worthy of all praise and glory.  He is sufficient.  He is all knowing and sees the depths of our hearts but He loves us anyway.  He keeps no record of wrongs.  He does not see our filthy sins because He sacrificed Himself and became our Redeemer and Savior of our sins.  I learned from God to let go of my own control and just let him work in my life, what He wills and plans for my life.  I am thankful Jesus had mercy on me and did not leave me lost and hardened.    My prayer is that what we learned and heard spoken to us from God, will stick and grow strong within us.  For we are a people of God and desire to know Him more.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

We prayed together tonight, knelt down on our knees.  It was the most intimate and rewarding gesture to one another and to God.  It has been difficult waiting for a child after 12 years of marriage.  Really difficult.  We have found out that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  I am battling infertility.  This just does not work for me, as I keep telling the Lord.  I really want a baby, it's in my heart and in my soul.  Every time I see a baby, my heart jumps.  Every time I hear of a new pregnancy or birth, I become discouraged.  I'm waiting on the Lord, but the wait is so difficult.  When we gave our lives to Jesus, we agreed to fully submit to His will.  This means completely sacrificing and giving up our hopes and dreams for Jesus.  And we have for the most part.  We're not perfect, but on a daily basis we trust Him.  The same God who deserves to be revered and respected, is the same God who gave me the desire for children.  All things are possible with God.  Doctors may say I can't have children, but God knows better.  I trust Him.  I pray He will answer our cry.