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Thursday, May 3, 2012

We prayed together tonight, knelt down on our knees.  It was the most intimate and rewarding gesture to one another and to God.  It has been difficult waiting for a child after 12 years of marriage.  Really difficult.  We have found out that I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  I am battling infertility.  This just does not work for me, as I keep telling the Lord.  I really want a baby, it's in my heart and in my soul.  Every time I see a baby, my heart jumps.  Every time I hear of a new pregnancy or birth, I become discouraged.  I'm waiting on the Lord, but the wait is so difficult.  When we gave our lives to Jesus, we agreed to fully submit to His will.  This means completely sacrificing and giving up our hopes and dreams for Jesus.  And we have for the most part.  We're not perfect, but on a daily basis we trust Him.  The same God who deserves to be revered and respected, is the same God who gave me the desire for children.  All things are possible with God.  Doctors may say I can't have children, but God knows better.  I trust Him.  I pray He will answer our cry.