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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Matute

I am pleased to know my family in Christ from another country.  The Matute family.  Luis and his youngest daughter are here in AZ visiting.  So far, we got to go to a baseball game in Phoenix and watched the Dbacks lose.  But it's okay because they had fun and so did we.  Janie liked the shirt I gave her.  We ate chicken wings, peanuts, chicken tenders, fries.  It was overall great times.  They have a busy schedule, but we're especially glad to be able to spend the most time with them.

Tomorrow we are taking them to the Grand Canyon.  They have never seen it in person.  We have them for the whole day so this should be a lot of fun.  The weather will be nice and we can practice our Spanish in the car.  My Spanish is improving.  I am practicing a lot now that they are hear.  Fast learning.  They are learning English too so we are doing great communicating.

Saturday we are taking them to a friend's wedding.  Sunday we visit again to talk about the next trip in 2013 in Costa Rica.  Monday, Janie and I get to hang out and go shopping and site seeing in Sedona. I know she will have a good time.  We're taking a lot of pictures.

I learn a lot from them.  I am learning their language, their culture, and their devoted faith. They are happy and blessed to know our Lord Jesus Christ and teach me to just love each other.  Be content with whatever God gives us.  Don't let the worries of the world overwhelm you.  I am glad to know them and call them my family.  Praise and glory to God forever.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Holding onto faith

I had an attack today.  No, it wasn't a physical attack but a spiritual one.  The enemy we call Satan likes to tell me I'm worthless.  He often likes to make me feel stupid and often steals my joy.  I was enjoying my day.  Then, when a little frustration comes I take it to heart.  Suddenly, I can't cook.  I'm not a very good cleaner.  I'm lazy.  I can't bear children.  Blah Blah Blah.  I listened to this trash.

After some tears, and leaning on my strong husband, I realized one important fact.  Satan has no control over my soul.  He has no control over my life.  Jesus Christ does.  The only time Satan does have control is when I let him have it.  I was letting the enemy have control by listening and believing in his lies about who I am. That's the enemy, who just wants to destroy me, my faith, and my ministry.

Jesus tells me who I am.  I am His.  I am worth something to Him.  He loves me when I'm happy, when I'm sad, when I'm angry, when I'm sinning, when I'm at my best, and when I'm at my worst.  He loves me in the morning when I have bad hair and breath.  He loves me when laugh and when I cry, when I wake and when I go to sleep.  If the Lord is my Rock and my Salvation, whom shall I fear? Nada.

So, when those lies come back and I hear those voices tell me I'm pitiful, I will choose to listen to Jesus.  His voice is truth and love.  Only He can convict my spirit through His.  And He never condemns.   Jesus wants to lift me up and make me stronger.  I will look forward to the day He comes back for me and brings me to Himself.  Amen.

On a mission

On this road to having a baby, we have come across one difficult obstacle.  Our insurance does not cover fertility treatment.  For now, we are not going to see a specialist until we've tried all we can.  I have been referred to an endocrinologist, one who specializes in thyroid conditions.  Yes, I have inherited a bad thyroid.  But really, as long as we get it under control there's no reason why we can't still conceive and carry.  My sister is a living miracle and her newborn son is the receipt.  She wasn't supposed to bear any more children and here she is at 38 with a new happy and healthy baby.  I am not giving up hope.

Sunday, September 25, 2011

I'm not in control

I had a lot to think about this weekend.  I thought about why things don't seem to happen for me, or why they don't go my way.  I easily got caught up in myself so much that my attitude turned negative.  Every thought that came into my head or every feeling I felt or every word I spoke, ended up negative.  Even my body responded to this negativity.  It was making me weak and sick.  Eldon told me I gotta stop being negative about everything because one day I will have a heart attach.  He is right. 

I prayed to God and waited for some advice.  He reminded me of many verses in Psalms that tells me how great He is and all the wonderful things He does for me.  And if He is my Rock and Salvation, my refuge in times of trouble, why didn't I go to Him? He also reminded me, and this I heard from Him at the concert, that He is the one in control.  Not me.  Sure, I can plan things, but He is what makes those plans come to pass according to His will.  Example, the adoption didn't go through the way we thought it would according to our plans.  But God knows what's best for us.  He knows why.  So, either I could raise my hands and ask why and throw a pity party for one.  Or I can celebrate the idea that He is looking out for me and has better plans for me. 

So, I need to stop focusing on myself because that's where all kinds of sin rise up.  But I have been crucified with Christ.  It is no longer I who live, but Christ in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God.  Who loved me and gave himself up for me. Galations 2:20.  So, my sins are forgiven in Christ Jesus.  I no longer live for myself, I live for Him by faith.  This means I am sure of what I hope for and certain of what I do not see. Hebrews 11:1.  Jesus gave Himself up for me at the cross.  He wasn't thinking of himself.  He was thinking of me.  Because He loves me.  Now that is worth holding onto.

So, when things do not go the way you plan just remember that God is in control and He will hold your hand.

Friday, September 23, 2011

Come to the Well

Casting Crowns is having a concert tonight with The Afters and Sanctus Real.  It should be a blast.  We get to possibly eat at Joe's Crab Shack and stay the night.  Hoping for a nice night with my husband.

Come to the Well means come if you are thirsty.  When someone who has been stranded in the desert can think of nothing more than getting his hands on some fresh cold water.  Mouth dry, lips chapped, and tongue like sand paper.  In fact, water is what hydrates us and ultimately gives us energy, along with food.  People can survive without food for a long time, Jesus did it for 40 days/nights.  But water, we cannot live without.  So, when you are thirsty and there is water right in front of you, do you just ignore it and walk away?  No, you take it freely because you know you need it.

Jesus Christ is that water, the living water.  How long will you go without drinking it?  How long will you survive without it?  For those people who live without it are already dying.  But those who accept it freely and drink will live forever.  Jesus gives to us freely what we need. Even our eternal salvation belongs in Him and Him alone.  Remember the old saying "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink'?  This just means that the truth is right there in front of you.  It's your choice.  Are you gonna live or are you gonna die?

Have faith.  You are His beloveds.  Don't go another day without drinking this water.  God Bless!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

About Us

We are Eldon and Tanya Schoonover.  We have been together since Fall of 1996.  We married in June 2000.  We accepted Jesus Christ as our only living Savior in September 2002.  By our faith, we are saved, and by His grace.  We have tried to conceive a baby for a long time.  Maybe we were not consistent enough.  Maybe it just wasn't our time.  But now, in 2011, we are 35 and 43 and our time is running out to bear a child.  Therefore, we are going to look into fertility options.  First we are going to be tested to see if we can have children.  We are praying that it is not too costly.  We hope we can have children. I decided to quit my job in July 2010 and stay home to try to become pregnant, hoping the stress relief would help.  In summer of this year, 2011, we were approached with a huge opportunity to adopt.  To make a long story short, things were really working and we prepared for everything.  I read books and bought things to setup a nursery.  I painted and cleaned out the room to make room for the baby.  Friends helped by donating and things were coming together.  The closer we got to the due date, the more exciting and overwhelming it became.  And the week the baby was born, we had even started planning a shower with my two close friends.  We were at a HS football game when I got an anonymous text stating the adoption was off.  That weekend, we cried and became weak and sad.  That was the weekend I turned 35.  Needless to say, we healed and recovered from our pain with the help of the Lord and many of our family and friends.  Now, every day I get to look into the nursery and wonder if we can bring a baby home at all.  I do not want to dismiss my faith or the work of the Lord.  I am holding onto my faith and drawing closer to God, asking Him to please bless us with a child.  I pray in that room, for the crib, the rocking chair, the changing table, and even the diapers.  It's silly, I know, but if we just believe that we will receive and ask God to deliver, this could really happen for us.  It is difficult at times the enemy tells us lies like we don't deserve children to make us doubtful.  But the One who lives inside of us is stronger and bigger than the one who lives in the world.

This is where we are right now.  It's almost October 2011.  We will start testing as soon as this cycle ends.  If I am not pregnant this cycle, then I start my testing with a fertility monitor and Eldon with his own.  October 7th we see the fertility doctor to start preliminaries.  We're prayerful.